I think Olie was right

"Why were you pussy-footing around w/ that girl? She was making herself open to you, I saw her flipping her hair. You just have to dominate the situation," she said.

"I guess I wasn't really brought up to go about it in that way," I replied to her.

But, Olie was right. And that made sense in every situation, not just the one where I was nervous about talking to this girl at the Umphrey's McGee show at Great American last night. I think this is another one of those lessons that I 'came here to learn'. Sitting there, justifying my reticence to her, I realized how cowardly it all came of. Don't you hate those moments where somebody shines the flashlight on you in the mirror?

Facing fears has been the theme to this whole trip, I think. When I had coffee with Michelle Tea down at Muddy Waters as part of this charity thing for a magazine in Oakland (more about this later), she gave me my tarot reading. But at the end of it, she asked me my sign. Leo, I told her, and she was like, Oh, Well then You have Nothing to Worry About! If she only knew how anxiety plagued so many aspects of my life, and how I wish I could just do what Olie was trying to explain!

Tonight, there is a shot that the opportunity could come knocking again. And I wonder if the moment didn't just vanish last night.